LEARNING TO LOVE: DYING TO SELF

LEARNING TO LOVE: DYING TO SELF
2 Samuel 13:1-21

I. Love and Lust
a. Amnon thought he was in love with Tamar; however, Amnon’s actions demonstrate lust not love
b. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13 that love “is not self-seeking.”
c. Lust is centered on what I need, Love is concerned with what you need
d. Jesus tells us that the kind of love that we as His friends should exhibit is a self-sacrificial love
i. John 15- 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command.
e. As followers of Christ we are to deny ourselves (laying down our lives for our neighbors)
i. Matthew 16- 24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever wants to save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.
ii. Matthew 5- 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
II. Dying to Self (Romans 8:5-17)
a. 5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
i. Amnon’s mind was centered on His needs and desires (His flesh)
ii. As Christians, our mind is to be set on the Holy Spirit and pleasing God in everything we do- especially in our relationships!
1. Ephesians 4- 1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
b. 6The mind of sinful man[j] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;
i. We need to change the way we think about ourselves, others, and this life
1. Luke 10- 27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"
2. Romans 12: 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3. Amnon allowed obsession to overtake his mind- it controlled him!
ii. Romans 7- 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
c. 9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you.
i. Galatians 5
1. 1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
a. Christ has set us free from thinking about ourselves all the time!
i. Matthew 6:24- No one can serve two masters
ii. Matthew 6:33- 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
2. 16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
a. The desires of the flesh are: 19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
b. James 4:7- 7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
c. 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
ii. Galatians 2:20- 20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.